Breathe In, Breathe Out
by UltimateGryffindork
Summary: Songfic - Viola's feelings at the end of Monsters of Men. WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MONSTERS OF MEN. MAJOR SPOILERS.


**WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED THE ENTIRE TRILOGY.**

**This has been floating round my head for a while, and have just written it. The song is Breathe In, Breathe Out by Polly Scattergood, and the first time I heard it after reading Monsters of Men, it reminded me of the ending. YouTube or we7 it to hear it - it is a really intensely emotional song.**

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Chaos Walking, and am making absolutely no money out of this.**

**WARNING: LAST CHANCE. PRESS THAT BACK BUTTON NOW IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MONSTERS OF MEN RIGHT UP TO THE LAST PAGE. I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE DONE. THANK YOU**

**Enjoy!**

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_You are constant_

_Constant to me_

_Though you're distant_

_You are my shadow_

_Constantly_

Viola sat by Todd, ignoring the fatigue that threatened to overcome her, clutching his hand, mopping his brow. He was her constant; the only thing that kept her sane, the only thing that kept her down to earth, the only thing that was worth living for. She knew that he was far away, but still there somewhere, no matter how far it was, and that part of him would live on in her heart, no matter what happened.

_Yeah, I'm okay_

_Thanks for asking_

_Wrote too many pointless love songs_

She thought about what he would think if he saw her. She thought about all those wasted moments, moments when she almost hated him, hated what he had become, but now, she could see that it didn't matter. Deep down, he had always been Todd; her Todd, Todd Hewitt, the boy who couldn't kill.

_Learn to breathe in_

_Learn to breathe out_

_Can't let you go_

_Can't let you go yet_

_Learn to breathe in_

_And then breathe out_

_Can't let you go_

_I can't let you go yet_

She clung on to his hand, remembering the time when she had pressed her lips to his. She thought about the war, the fighting, the violence. None of it seemed to matter anymore; all that mattered was that he came back to her, that he stayed with her.

_I think I felt you_

_Disappear_

_Disappear_

_Disappear_

She knew that part of him was slipping away, but she clung onto it. She had been overtaken with grief and anguish, screaming in torturous pain when he didn't come. But that fire had soon burned out, leaving only the ash of hopelessness. Yet under the ash there was new life, hope breaking through.

_I know it's awful_

_But I've already said my goodbyes_

_And nice to see you_

She'd prepared herself for the worst, Ben too. She knew that the chances of him coming back at all were minimal, nearly impossible.

_Maybe not you_

_Lived such a little_

_But loved such a lot_

_Learn to breathe in_

_Learn to breathe out_

_Can't let you go_

_Can't let you go yet_

Slowly, she chanted under her breath, 'breathe in, breathe out,' an ethereal mantra, hoping that by some small mercy, it would help. She had never believed in a god before, but right now, she was praying with all her might, 'let him breathe in and breathe out'. She knew it was all she could do, but somehow it was not enough.

_Learn to breathe in_

_And then breathe out_

_Can't let you go_

_I can't let you go yet_

Somehow, though, she knew that wherever he was, he was thinking about her, although whether or not it was just wishful thinking, she didn't know. But there was something there; a spark in those lifeless eyes.

_I saw a sparkle_

_Felt a tremor_

_Then I thought I saw you in the mirror_

'Viola. Viola. Viola. Viola. I-

Love-

You-

Viola'

_But I must be crazy_

_I must have lost my mind_

_Cause I'm running late over half the time_

And somehow, she knew he was there.

'Viola

I-

Love-

You-'

Viola.'

"I love you Todd," she whispered.

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**Hope you enjoyed that, and as I said, look up the song.**

**Please review - the last fic I wrote got over 300 readers and only 3 reviews. Thats less than 1%, so I really hope that Chaos Walking fans are better than Harry Potter ones...**

**Thank you for reading!**

**UltimateGryffindork**


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